January 4, 2005

Greetings from the Director of the world's largest and most powerful organization.We are committed to total destruction of the Earth through thermonuclear war. We strongly support the Tsunami Relief Effort as we are opposed to individual acts of suicide and disasters such as this because they cause suffering. We are opposed to suffering, We represent the opposite, hence our motto. "All at Once."

Ok People, Listen up!

A few little things have happened since we last spoke: The collapse of the Soviet Union, a few Presidents here and there. Frankly, I found the Clinton years rather depressing. His goody two shoes, "one world for everybody" crap was the biggest threat to thermonuclear war in this writer's memory. I mean, no one over the age of forty took Bertrand Russell or Eugene McCarthy seriously anyway. But people were actually starting to listen to that little cock sucker. No, wait! I've got that wrong. he was the recipient, wasn't he?

Anyway, no need to dwell in dark places when we have the team in power we need to destroy the Earth, right now. Doesn't it just send chills up your spine that Dick Cheney is a heartbeat from total world domination. Of course, it is the heartbeat we have to worry about. But if anyone is capable of pushing the button as a last moment's gesture to us all (similar to his one on the Senate floor) it's Dick! In fact, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if I learned he had one of those alerts on a necklace. Only his was "The Button".

Hey, I can dream, can't I?

But that's not what we are here to discuss......................

I know I shouldn't let this page get personal, but it seems my nemesis, David Chadwick, is getting active again. This pretender, who some actually refer to as "Priest", must be stopped!!!!!!!

To some of you it must seem odd to go after this hack writer and misfit, archivist of Shunryu Suzuki, another of those 'spiritualist' peace creep weirdoes from California. But this man is far more dangerous than he appears. I have been in the same room and heard this man mock thermonuclear war. I have witnessed him bring people together under the pretence of a meal and then brow beat and threaten them until they submitted to his bizarre rituals he refers to as 'meditation'. Fear not, good readers, I did NOT fall victim to this scoundrel, but one less quick of wit, or fleet of foot, would not have fared as well.


Fortunately, I have discovered a weakness. I have a spy who has access to the Fortress in Northern California that contains his headquarters. He overheard a conversation where this evil man was confessing to his utter lack of organizational ability. He further admitted this was preventing him from properly assembling a lifetime's collection of lectures, pictures and stories, in countless formats and archiving them all digitally. He went on to say that if he could get a fairly small amount of money together he could hire an assistant to help make this happen.

This is clearly an evil plot. He has gone so far as to have non-profit (or Prophet) status so that if any one was crazy enough to give him money, they could take it off their taxes. Put money in the hands of this man and I shudder to think what could happen!

We must all come together and spread the word!

Do not allow anyone to go to www.cuke.com.

If anyone were to go there they might get sucked into his evil plot and learn how to donate money. I can only consider it divine providence that we have learned of this evil plot before it has really gotten off the ground,

So remember, Do not allow anyone to go to www.cuke.com. Tell everyone not to assist his evil plot.

Whatever evil you do in your life, I have no doubt that your god, whoever that may be, will forgive everything. All you have to do is prevent everyone you know from supporting this evil man.

That's all today, go back to your little lives.

Hamlin Piper